FEAR OF CHANGE
Change freaks us out!
We hate it and most of the time we do our best to avoid it.
One of the main problems is that our brains don’t differentiate between good change and bad change, they both cause the same amount of stress.
Starting a new relationship or ending an old relationship for example. The relationship that’s over may have been really bad for you. You may have struggled to get out of it for a long time. The new relationship may be everything you need. This new person may be the man or woman of your dreams. Although these are positive changes you will need to make adjustments to the way you carry out your day-to-day life. These little adjustments to your daily routine cause stress, even when they're positive.
You might know that the life change is needed, you may want it more than anything and be excited about it but it still scares the “bejaysus” out of you.
You never know exactly what you're going to get when changes are made and it’s often this fear of the unknown that frightens us.
Think about the last time you came across road works when driving through town and you had to make a detour. The new route is signposted and once you follow the signs you’ll have no problem getting to where you want to go.
This situation shouldn’t make you feel stressed but it does! This may not be the usual route you’d use to get to Tesco but you know these streets, you’ve been down them 100 times before but none the less you start to panic. You turn the radio down (to concentrate) and start thinking where does this road go? How long will it take?
These fears are totally irrational. What we don't know tends to scare us, and change creates a lot of things we don't know.
If we always give in to our fears and avoid change we will stay stuck in the same place even when moving on is the best thing for us.
It’s human nature to choose the path of least resistance but this doesn’t serve us well.
If you’re thinking about making some life changes then here are some questions to ask yourself that might help.
1. What's the worst that can happen if I make this change?
Think about the challenges this change may bring and look at ways you can work around them. By thinking about the most likely problems you could encounter you can take away some of the irrational fear you're feeling and maybe you can avoid them, or at least figure out what you could do if they happen.
2. What's the best that can happen if I don't make this change?
How is your life going to improve if you don’t make the change? Sometimes this question is the push we need to make a change. When you look at this and I mean really look at it and be truly honest with yourself, you will most likely find that your life won’t improve if you don’t make the change. So you have a choice to learn to love what you already have or to do something new.
3. If I don't make this change, will everything else stay the same?
No, it won't. Everything changes! It's human nature to think that things will always be the same but they won’t. Change, whether you choose it or not is inevitable. This is good to remember when making any decision on change.
4. Is it OK to be sad about the life I left behind?
Absolutely!! In fact it’s a necessary part of moving on. Being sad about the life you left behind doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with your decision or that you’d go back it’s just a necessary part of the process of change.
5. Will I be able to handle it if things go wrong?
The fear of failure is often what holds us back from making a change. The fact is we are far more resourceful than we think, and more able to deal with difficult situations. Don’t let this stop you, you can handle far more than you know.
6. If not now, when?
There will never be that perfect moment or the right time to make a change.
Life is short.
Why wait?
Just do it.
We hate it and most of the time we do our best to avoid it.
Hell, I even hate when Liam empties the dishwasher and puts the saucepans in the wrong press or when someone sits in my seat at the dinner table!!
One of the main problems is that our brains don’t differentiate between good change and bad change, they both cause the same amount of stress.
Starting a new relationship or ending an old relationship for example. The relationship that’s over may have been really bad for you. You may have struggled to get out of it for a long time. The new relationship may be everything you need. This new person may be the man or woman of your dreams. Although these are positive changes you will need to make adjustments to the way you carry out your day-to-day life. These little adjustments to your daily routine cause stress, even when they're positive.
You might know that the life change is needed, you may want it more than anything and be excited about it but it still scares the “bejaysus” out of you.
You never know exactly what you're going to get when changes are made and it’s often this fear of the unknown that frightens us.
Think about the last time you came across road works when driving through town and you had to make a detour. The new route is signposted and once you follow the signs you’ll have no problem getting to where you want to go.
This situation shouldn’t make you feel stressed but it does! This may not be the usual route you’d use to get to Tesco but you know these streets, you’ve been down them 100 times before but none the less you start to panic. You turn the radio down (to concentrate) and start thinking where does this road go? How long will it take?
These fears are totally irrational. What we don't know tends to scare us, and change creates a lot of things we don't know.
If we always give in to our fears and avoid change we will stay stuck in the same place even when moving on is the best thing for us.
It’s human nature to choose the path of least resistance but this doesn’t serve us well.
If you’re thinking about making some life changes then here are some questions to ask yourself that might help.
1. What's the worst that can happen if I make this change?
Think about the challenges this change may bring and look at ways you can work around them. By thinking about the most likely problems you could encounter you can take away some of the irrational fear you're feeling and maybe you can avoid them, or at least figure out what you could do if they happen.
2. What's the best that can happen if I don't make this change?
How is your life going to improve if you don’t make the change? Sometimes this question is the push we need to make a change. When you look at this and I mean really look at it and be truly honest with yourself, you will most likely find that your life won’t improve if you don’t make the change. So you have a choice to learn to love what you already have or to do something new.
3. If I don't make this change, will everything else stay the same?
No, it won't. Everything changes! It's human nature to think that things will always be the same but they won’t. Change, whether you choose it or not is inevitable. This is good to remember when making any decision on change.
4. Is it OK to be sad about the life I left behind?
Absolutely!! In fact it’s a necessary part of moving on. Being sad about the life you left behind doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with your decision or that you’d go back it’s just a necessary part of the process of change.
5. Will I be able to handle it if things go wrong?
The fear of failure is often what holds us back from making a change. The fact is we are far more resourceful than we think, and more able to deal with difficult situations. Don’t let this stop you, you can handle far more than you know.
6. If not now, when?
There will never be that perfect moment or the right time to make a change.
Life is short.
Why wait?
Just do it.
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